Finally, my life has purpose.

Being retired means... well, having no meaning. You get up each day and you don't have to go to work, there is little you really *have* to do. No-one pays any attention to you. You are both idle and invisible. In other words, it's almost the perfect life.

Nevertheless, I wanted to mean something. I wanted some purpose. I wanted more money. And now, at last, I know the answer.

I'm going to become a Professional Pinball Wizard.

Probably I should have thought of that sooner, because in our basement are two pinball machines that I restored, and I have a strong background in pinball. There are really only two difficulties to overcome.

Difficulty #1. I have to become a pinball wizard. That means, first, developing hand-eye coordination. The only way to do that is to practice for endless hours. Even then, there are challenges. At a professional pinball tournament, there are many different types of pinballs in various conditions. It is essential to know the rules for each one. The "how to play" manual for my "Twilight Zone" pin, for example, is 45 pages long. I'll have to download manuals for different machines and, if an unfamiliar one shows up at a tournament, learn as much as I can in a couple of practice games. Finally, the hardware on every machine is different. The spring on each plunger that launches a ball is different, for example. My strategy for that is to first launch about 1/3 of the way to the playing field, then launch a bit farther, and calculate from those the appropriate in-play launch.

Difficulty #2. There are no Professional Pinball Wizards and no professional tournaments, as far as I know. Only one company still manufactures pinball machines, and no-one cares. When my young nephews and nieces visit I turn on the machines, they hear the seductive sounds and see the flashing lights, and then they yawn and turn away. Pinballs don't compare, apparently, to blowing someone's virtual brains out with a virtual rocket launcher.

Still, one can dream.

And practice for endless hours.