Manners.

In 1984 Jim, a friend and co-worker at Lam Research, walked up to me, grimaced slightly, looked me in the eyes, and said, "People would respect you a lot more if you got that booger out of your nose." I rushed into the men's room, looked in a mirror, gasped, and then, er, blew my nose. That was 27 years ago and I still remember it.

Was it good manners or bad manners for Jim to say that to me? I don't know what Miss Manners would say about it, but I was grateful that Jim helped me avoid walking around with a giant goober visible in one of my nostrils. Surely there would have been a lot of grimaces, but most people wouldn't have said anything. And when I'd looked in a mirror later... ACK!

When I began my first job in the semiconductor industry at American Microsystems in 1975 or so, I sat down for lunch at a random table in the cafeteria. There were mostly line dollies at the table, and after a while one of them said to me, "You really have lovely table manners, for a man." That felt good, and it made me more thankful that my mother had trained me well. Some people have table manners, some have different table manners, and others have none at all. You know what I mean.

But manners differ depending where you are. In India people often eat with their fingers, for example. In France dinners can last for hours. In England the food is inedible, but I don't know if that goes under manners.

In Korea I told a limo driver to take me to a hotel, but it was the wrong hotel. When we arrived he carried all my luggage inside. A short while later he came back out with my luggage and told me it was the wrong hotel. After he took me to the correct hotel and deposited my bags in the lobby, I tried to hand him a few dollars. He wouldn't take them. Tipping isn't done in Korea. There's tipping in Germany, but only a couple of euro for really good service. In the U.S.... well, that might be another blog topic.

I learned new customs in Japan. One is that it is very impolite to blow your nose in public, especially when you're eating. (Younger people there are starting to ignore that rule.) So people at the dining table sniff noisily to avoid blowing their noses. (Dabbing at your nose with your handkerchief is acceptable, as long as it's silent.) That's one custom that really drives Twila nuts. There you are trying to eat eggs over easy and the entire table is sniffing and swallowing. It's a bit unsettling at first, I admit.

Japanese also slurp their noodles. It really is the easiest way to eat them with chopsticks, and the noises are caused by noodles and soup and not that other stuff.

The one I like best is that it's common in Japan and very acceptable to use a toothpick at the table. That one makes a *lot* of sense. Why sit there with something stuck between your teeth, trying like made to get it out with your tongue, and being uncomfortable the entire time? You don't have to take a toothpick and open your mouth wide and show everyone what you're after. You cradle it in your hand and keep your mouth as closed as possible. It is perfectly sensible, and I almost always put toothpicks on our table when we have guests. They usually don't partake, but I do.

But back to that booger. I read in a newspaper a few days ago that in Thailand it is perfectly acceptable to pick your nose in public. They consider it a normal part of good grooming. Let's admit it, all guys pick their noses, usually surreptitiously. Then there are the times that someone walks in when your finger is up to a knuckle inside a nostril and you desperately pretend that you were just scratching.

Women don't pick their noses, ever, according to Twila. And I believe her, because I don't recall having seen her do it. The part about women never farting has been proven false many times, and the sh*t doesn't smell argument is unconvincing.

Anyway, I don't know about the nose picking thing. I've done it on rare occasions, in private, but I don't like to see people doing it, and then flicking the berries out their car windows. Or anywhere. Maybe a couple of weeks in Thailand would change my opinion, but for now I'm with Twila on that one.