Odd Days: Morning

I am a morning person. Have been since I made my way out of the womb. I've heard that morning-person-ness is the result of a genetic mutation, so I expect most of you do not know what a morning person is. I'm going to explain it to you:

• When I get up in the morning, I'm happy.
• If I get up too late to see the beautiful sunrise, I'm upset.
• I talk in the morning and would sing if those within earshot didn't protest.
• I remember everything I say and do before noon.
• As the sun goes down, my brain shuts down along with it.
• If people call me after 8 pm, I can rarely think of anything to say, so my caller inevitably thinks I'm depressed.
• If someone invites me to go to a concert that begins at 9 pm, I always say no unless I fear they will unfriend me.
• I hate December 21.

Contrast that with a night person:

• When he (or she!) gets up in the morning, he is *not* happy.
• When the sun seeps into the bedroom, he moans in pain.
• He doesn't talk voluntarily for hours and if anyone nearby talks, they should fear for their lives.
• If forced to talk, he is unlikely to remember what he said and will deny it vigorously.
• As the sun goes down, the party clothes come on.
• Under cover of darkness, he is now willing to discuss and solve all of the worlds problems, while playing canasta and listening to Roy Orbison.

Lord save me, I have two night people in my house right now!